


Only You Can Bring Me Peace

by horrorgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Confusion, Fluff, Guilt, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, M/M, Searching, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorgirl/pseuds/horrorgirl
Summary: The last time Dean saw his brother was in a parking lot calling for a cab. With time running out, he doesn't know where to turn. Even with Bobby's help, it seems like nothing but dead ends. Dean feels guilty and lost, but also finds peace in the most unexpected place. Emotions are running high, even by Winchester standards, and nobody knows what is going to happen or where they are going to end up.





	

"Agents Nye and Dawkins, here to speak to the Medical Examiner," Dean flashed his phony badge and most charming grin at the receptionist before she picked up the phone. "This is the last fucking time I let you choose the names," he turned and whispered to his brother. Sam just smiled and watched as the receptionist hung up the phone and nodded politely, signaling that the Medical Examiner was on his way out to speak to them. 

\-------------------------

"I can't see any damage to the heart, there was no hemorrhaging in the brain, all of the internal organs were healthy and intact."

"So what your saying is that..." Sam looked up from the chart he was holding.

"I'm saying that the cause of death is unknown at this time." The older man with graying hair and lines of exhaustion on his face looked from one brother to the other, "Why is the FBI interested in this?"

"Well, you have a high profile individual who collapsed on stage during a televised event, and died en route to the hospital. We know that Reverend Baker was under Federal investigation for fraud and money laundering. We need to know if his death is connected. Is there any way that we could see the body?" The Medical Examiner nodded at Dean and pushed himself away from his desk. The Winchester brothers followed him out of his cramped office and down a flight of stairs to the morgue. 

\-------------------------

"Well, we have one dead TV Evangelist with no cause of death. We can rule out a lot of things on this one," Dean said, loosening his tie as they walked across the parking lot.

"So what? Are we thinking maybe a witch?"

"It's entirely possible, Sammy. The guy had a lot of followers, and probably twice as many haters. We're going to need to check his house, his office, and the cathedral." Dean felt the subtle vibration of his phone in his pocket and pulled it out. "Hello?...Yeah, yeah this is him...Okay, yeah I'll be right there."

"Trouble?"

"That was the motel office. Apparently somebody kicked in the door to our room."

"Who in the hell would want to kick in the door to our room?"

"I have no idea, but we need to head back there. If somebody went through our shit, we have guns we have fake ID's, we need to hope the cops don't find any of it and start asking questions. I'm pretty sure that at least one of us is still wanted in one or two states."

"Why don't you go. I'll just call a cab and head over to this guy's office, start interviewing his staff."

"Sounds good," Dean said, opening the car door. "I'll call you when I figure out what in the fuck is going on at the motel."

Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked up the local taxi service while he watched his brother drive away. 

\-------------------------

Dean pulled up to the motel and found the manager standing just outside of his room. The door was sitting wide open, the frame splintered and the knob broken. "The police are on their way." Dean nodded and pocketed his keys before stepping through the doorway. "Do you think it's a good idea to be in here? Aren't you supposed to leave crime scenes undisturbed or something?"

Dean turned to the manager and sighed impatiently, "It's not a murder scene. I just want to take a look and see if any of my shit was stolen. I appreciate you keeping an eye on it until I got here." He walked back into the room and let his eyes dart. Somebody had gone through their bags. After a quick but thorough search, he was able to slide the rest of the phony ID's that he'd brought with them into his pocket and noticed that the only thing missing was a single handgun that had been kept in a side pocket of Sam's bag. He stood up when he heard the sound of car tires on the gravel parking lot. They didn't have anything of value, at least not in the room. He shook hands with the officers and started answering questions, assuring them that nothing had been taken. After a cursory walk around the room, the officers handed Dean a statement to sign and left, filing it away as nothing more than a random break-in, albeit a bold one. Dean was given the keys to another room and packed their bags. He tried to call Sam but it went to voicemail. He must still be conducting interviews. Dean moved their things to their new room and left to meet Sam. There was still enough daylight to finish up at the office and maybe make it to the cathedral. 

\-------------------------

"I'm sorry Agent Dawkins, I haven't had anybody else stop by today."

"Are you sure?"

"I've been here at the front desk all day."

Dean looked around, frustrated that Sam hadn't called or sent him a text letting him know that he was going to either the cathedral or reverend's house before he hit the office. "Okay, thanks for your help," he smiled, dialing Sam's number as he walked out. He ended the call when it went to voicemail and got in his car. 

\-------------------------

"Nobody has been here to ask about the reverend since the police left last night."

Dean groaned inwardly. He was going to kill Sam when he found him. 

\-------------------------

Most of the lights in the large house were out when Dean pulled up to the front gate. He was assured by the security guard that nobody had come by to speak to the reverend's family today. He threw the car in reverse and drove back down the long driveway, putting his phone on speaker when he made another call to Sam.

"Okay Sam, this shit isn't funny. I stopped by the office, cathedral, and this asshole's house and apparently nobody has seen you. I don't know what in the fuck is going on but I'm heading back to the motel. I moved our shit to room 6B. If you aren't in the parking lot waiting for me, or you don't call back in the next 20 minutes, I'm going to be seriously fucking pissed."

Dean got to the motel, he didn't see Sam. He went in the room and took a shower, still no Sam. He checked his phone for missed calls and texts, nothing from Sam. It had been hours. He finally called the cab company.

"Uh hello, this is Agent Nye and I uh, took one of your taxi's earlier today but I seemed to have left my wallet in the car...Yeah, I called around 11:30 to be picked up at the hospital...He's off duty now?...Is there any way you can get a hold of him?...Great, if you could just call me back at this number I would appreciate it...Thank you." Dean hung up his phone and tried Sam's number again. Again, it went to voicemail. "Where in the hell are you? Unless you are hooking up with the hottest chick on the planet, I am officially fucking pissed." He set his phone down on the nightstand and fell back on to one of the beds. This wasn't like Sam. He may be four years younger, but Sam was the responsible one. Dean threw his arm over his eyes and tried not to think about the worst case scenario. 

\-------------------------

Castiel stood in the corner, quietly invisible, watching Dean switch from pacing to laying on the bed, checking his phone every few minutes hoping to see a missed call or text. He wanted to show himself, let Dean know that he was there, but he knew that he couldn't until Dean needed him. As an angel, he had infinite patience and he would wait.

\-------------------------

Dean hadn't slept at all when he noticed the sun shining through the dingy window. He called the cab company again, just to be told that they had been unable to get a hold of the driver, and would call him back as soon as they did. He jumped in his car and headed to the reverend's office. He pulled into the parking lot and stopped, but kept the engine running. He knew that he couldn't go inside and ask about his brother again. 

"God Cas, you can't do that. You scared the shit out of me," he groaned when he heard the passenger door open. He gratefully took the cardboard cup of coffee out of Cas's hand and waited for him to slide into the passenger seat. "What are you doing here?"

"Sam is missing?"

"Haven't heard from him in almost 24 hours, so if that's what you consider missing, then I guess Sam is missing."

Cas watched Dean pull the lid off of the coffee and start blowing on the hot liquid. "Do you have any idea where he might...."

"If I had any idea would I be sitting in this fucking parking lot?" Dean looked at Cas out of the corner of his eye. He watched him lift his head and stare out of the passenger window. "Listen Cas, I'm sorry. I'm a little high strung at the moment. Yesterday somebody kicked in the door to our room and took a gun. I left Sam to go check it out and he was supposed to call a cab to come here. Nobody has seen him, the cab company can't get a hold of the driver, I've called him at least 30 times, left messages, sent him texts."

"Do you have an ID that I can use?"

"I have that one that we made for you when you..."

"Where is it?"

"It's in the glove box." Dean watched Cas rifle through the messy pile of phony ID's until he found the only one with his picture on it.

"What names did you use?" Cas questioned.

"Uh, I'm Agent Dawkins, he's Agent Nye."

"You let Sam choose again?"

"I didn't let him choose, he just had them made. What in the hell are you doing?"

"Every FBI field office has a supervisor, right?" Cas opened the car door and got out.

"Cas?" Dean yelled, watching him cross the parking lot towards the office. "Damnit!"

\-------------------------

Nobody at the office had seen Sam, nobody at the cathedral had seen Sam. Dean reluctantly went back to the motel and sent Cas to the reverend's home in a cab, he knew that his '67 Impala would be too recognizable if the same security guard was on duty. After what seemed like hours, Cas returned to the motel to let Dean know that although the reverend's family seemed like pleasant people, they also hadn't seen Sam. The cab company finally called. The car that had picked Sam up had been found abandoned, the driver was nowhere to be found. 

Sam was officially missing, and Dean knew that somehow it was connected to the demon blood.

\-------------------------

Sam could sense the dim light when he rolled over in the comfortable bed and pulled the warm blankets over him. He reached up to shift the pillow and that's when he realized that the bed was too comfortable, the blankets were too warm, and the room didn't have the lingering odor of stale cigarettes with an undertone of mold. He couldn't hear Dean's obnoxious snore, and other than his shoes, tie, and jacket, he could tell that he was still wearing his suit. He opened his eyes slowly, looking around before he sat up. He was alone in a room, but it certainly wasn't a motel room. The windows were high, so he knew that he was in a basement, but the room was large, comfortable, and clean. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands up his face. He had a slight headache and couldn't remember anything that had happened since he'd gotten into the cab outside of the hospital. He stood to check the windows but they had been painted to black them out, the only light in the room came from a small lamp in the corner. He heard the sound of multiple locks clicking and turned to watch the door open. An older woman walked in with a tray in her hand.

"I'm glad to see you awake and moving around, we weren't sure how long you were going to sleep. I'm guessing that you have a small headache?"

Sam just looked at her before checking the corners of the room. There were no visible security cameras which meant either he wasn't being watched, or somebody was smart enough to keep them out of sight. "Who in the hell are you and where in the hell am I?"

"There is no need to be hostile. We are going to take good care of you."

"You still didn't answer my questions."

"Oh where are my manners. I'm Mavis, and this is my home. I know that it's a little late in the day, but I brought you some breakfast. I wasn't sure you prefer coffee over tea, so I just brought both. There is also something for your headache. Now, there are a few books over there on that shelf if you get bored, and the television does work but I'm afraid we only get local channels down here. That door leads to a bathroom. If you'd like to shower, I left some clean clothes in there for you."

"Why in the hell am I here?"

"We need to keep you safe, Sam."

\-------------------------

Sam watched the door close and counted the locks as they engaged. Six, there were six locks keeping him in this room. The door was solid metal, and he was almost positive that there were bars on the windows. He could hear the sound of a distant lawnmower and a dog barking. He wasn't being kept in some empty building or abandoned house, this was someone's home. He did have a headache, but didn't trust anything on the tray. He went into the bathroom and drank water out of the tap, before splashing some on his face. New towels were hanging from the rack, there was a basket full of toiletries next to the faucet, and what looked like a pair of hospital scrubs with boxers folded neatly on the back of the toilet. He walked back out into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, trying to remember something, anything after getting into the cab. It was all blank. He knew that there were only two reasons that anybody would want him and that was because he was a hunter, or because he carried demon blood. He laid back on the pillow with his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Chances were, it was the demon blood.

\-------------------------

Cas had been sitting on the edge of the bed watching Dean pace for close to an hour. "Dean, you can't blame yourself."

"I sure as hell can."

"He's a grown man. You can't be with him all of the time."

"It is my job to keep an eye on him, Cas."

"This isn't your fault, just like the last time wasn't your fault. The demon blood isn't your fault. You aren't to blame for any of this."

"The night our mother was killed, the night that damn demon got into our house and dripped his ugly fucking blood into my baby brother's mouth, he became my responsibility."

"Dean, you were four years old."

"You're right, I was. Our father told me that night, and every night up until the day he died, that I needed to keep an eye on Sam. Do you have any idea how hard that has been living the way that we do?"

Cas sighed patiently, "Yes, I do. I know that every time you go out on a hunt you both put your lives on the line."

"The werewolves and vampires, those are easy. Our father spent a lifetime teaching us about that. But all of this new shit? Demons and angels. That fucking demon took him the first time and I think that we both know how that turned out."

"Sam was killed, I know that. But you..." Cas trailed off. He knew that Dean didn't like to talk about it.

"I what, Cas? I traded my soul for his life? Made the ultimate sacrifice? Did things the Winchester way? But hey, a little divine intervention from the angel Castiel and I came back, almost good as new." Dean unknowingly started rubbing the thick scar on his shoulder. The scar that was the exact shape and size of Cas's hand.

"Dean..."

"Cas, how much shit have we been through? You were the one who told me what the god squad expects of me and my brother. Everybody is after him. Heaven, Hell, they all want a piece."

"I checked, Dean. Heaven has nothing to do with this. Hell has no use for him. Not yet."

"This isn't a matter of not yet, it's a matter of never going to fucking happen!" Dean yelled. He sank into a chair and dropped his head into his hands. "I'm sorry Cas, this is just...FUCK! Where in the hell is he?"

Cas crossed the room and knelt in front of Dean, "I will help you. We will find him."

"Thanks Cas," Dean whispered.

\-------------------------

It took hours of pacing and a half a bottle of scotch before Dean finally drifted off. He was still wearing his boots, curled up on the bed when Cas threw a blanket over him and sat in a chair. He was an angel, he didn't sleep, but he would watch over Dean all night. He watched over Dean most nights. Dean was his charge.

\-------------------------

Sometimes Cas longed for the days when he had been a great warrior, but then he looked at Dean and saw that what he was now was far more important. He had known of the Winchester brothers, all of the angels had. According to the prophecy, a Winchester was to break the first seal of the apocalypse and the Winchesters who would end it. The one who carried demon's blood was expected to accept Lucifer into his vessel. The older brother, the one who broke the seal, was to accept the archangel Michael. They would face one another on the battlefield. Castiel was surprised when he received orders to retrieve Dean Winchester's soul from Hell and reunite it with it's vessel. He expected to find true evil that day, not the shattered and vulnerable soul that he wrapped his hand around and lifted. He held Dean's soul, hesitant to reunite it with it's vessel. When he finally did, he thought that his orders were complete, but he was wrong. He was to return to earth and coerce a newly saved Dean Winchester into taking his part in the prophecy. The first time that Castiel saw the pain, the self loathing in those bright green eyes, he defied his orders. He knew that the first time he had touched Dean's soul, he had created a profound bond and now he needed to look after Dean just as Dean felt that he needed to look after Sam. Dean had shortened his name to 'Cas' and accepted him as part of his life. They'd learned to rely on one another, fight for one another, and even fight with one another. Cas had no understanding of human emotions, but he knew that Dean had slowly come to mean everything to him.

\-------------------------

Sam stood in surprise when he heard the locks start to click. He counted to the sixth and stood ready. This time it was an older man, also holding a tray. He could only assume that it was Mavis's husband. The man quietly set the tray down and scowled at the untouched breakfast food. "Sam, if we planned to harm you we would have already." He made a show of eating some of the food himself as well as taking the pain pills. "Now sit down in the chair and let's have a look at you."

"What?"

"I'm a doctor, Sam. I just want to take a look at you. We need to make sure that you are healthy."

As much as Sam wanted to stay away, he found himself moving to the chair and sitting down. The man pulled a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff out of a bag and took Sam's vital signs. He wrote the numbers down in a small notebook and put them all back into the bag. "Everything looks good. Now eat something, take a shower, and relax. I'm guessing that Mavis told you about the books and television. I'm sorry we don't have much to offer in the way of entertainment. One of us will be back in awhile to check on you." He picked up the breakfast tray and bag. Sam flinched when he heard the sixth lock engage. Again he ignored the food, but he did opt for a shower. He needed to find a way out, he needed to figure out how to get a hold of Dean.

\-------------------------

Dean was weary when he pulled down the gravel drive at Singer Auto Salvage. Cas had finally convinced that his uncle Bobby's was the best place to be. If somebody had taken Sam, they were no longer anywhere near the town where they had been working the case. They needed to look at this as hunters. They needed to study and strategize. Dean got out of the car and stepped into the arms of the gruff older man. Bobby may be his adopted uncle, he loved the Winchester boys like they were his own, but he'd always been more of a father to Dean than John Winchester ever was. Dean was holding back tears when he patted Bobby on the back. He knew that if anybody could help him, it was the man standing in front of him. "Don't worry, Dean. We've been through this before, but we know a lot more now. We're going to find him." Dean just nodded as he let go and walked past him into the old house. Bobby reached his hand out and shook Cas's with a nod before he followed them in.

He poured Dean a heavy drink and gestured for him to sit. He could see it all in Dean's eyes. "So tell me what happened."

"We were working a case. You know, that TV Jesus freak who fell over dead during a live sermon? We were just leaving the morgue when I got a call that somebody had kicked in our door at the motel. I headed back there to check it out while Sam went on to the guy's office to finish the interviews. That's it. The last place I saw him was standing in a parking lot calling for a cab."

"Kicked in your door?"

"Yeah, they went through our shit and took a gun, but that's about it."

"Now why in the hell would anybody be interested in your room?"

"It was a distraction," came Cas's voice from where he stood in the doorway. "If somebody wanted Sam badly enough, they needed to separate you two."

"Yeah, but what if he'd come with me back to the motel?"

"You don't think they'd have a plan B?" Cas questioned, finally moving to sit. "They knew where you were going to be, they probably know your habits. All they had to do was separate you and wait for Sam to call a cab. They found the car abandoned without a driver."

"So whoever was driving that cab..."

"Either took Sam or is also missing." Cas finished, looking at Bobby.

"What about upstairs? Downstairs?"

"I already checked upstairs. I know that they won't tell me much, but angels gossip. I've stayed tuned into angel radio, you remember our collective conscious. Nothing has been said."

"They could be lying. I'm sorry, angel boy, but I don't trust them brothers and sisters that you got."

"Neither do I, Bobby," Dean interrupted. "But I'm with Cas on this one. If they wanted Sam they could have just taken him a long time ago. It makes no sense to take him now."

"And downstairs?"

"Same thing, what's the point? I mean they know about the prophecy and the demon blood and all of that shit, just like they know that I broke the first seal. Demons are assholes. They'd be at my door trying to make a deal of some type."

"So these were humans?"

"Had to have been. Who in the hell else would do it? We've killed a lot of things, but I can't imagine a werewolf or vampire going after Sam Winchester hell bent on revenge."

Bobby leaned back in his chair and poured himself another. He topped off Dean's drink and looked at Cas. Cas didn't drink, and Bobby never felt right about offering alcohol to an angel anyway. Bobby had been suspicious as hell when the boys first introduce him to Cas. He grew even more suspicious when he learned about the angel's agenda. But now he saw how protective Cas was and knew that Dean probably would have gone out half cocked instead of ending up on his doorstep if he'd been left on his own to deal with this. "So why would they target Sam?"

"You've got me Bobby. Shit, you'd think it would be me. I've fucked enough bored housewives that I'm surprised I haven't met a pissed off husband in a back alley yet. I lie, I hustle pool, I'm the one who gets into barroom brawls and talks big when I shouldn't. Sam is just an accessory to my asshole bullshit."

"This was well thought out, it has nothing to do with any of those things. It's not about something that you've said or done." Cas said quietly.

"Yeah, keep telling me that," Dean said, finishing off his drink and standing up. "I need some fresh air." He walked out, letting the screen door bang against the frame.

Bobby and Cas just looked at one another. "He just needs space," Cas muttered.

"Do you really think that leaving Dean alone at time like this is a good idea? That boy is as self destructive as the day is long and he's blamin' himself. He needs a friend. I don't know how you are able to be so goddamn patient with him, but right now you follow his ass out there and make sure he's okay. I don't care if you do your weird invisibility thing or try to talk to him, but this is gonna hit him and somebody needs to be there. I'll get dinner started."

\-------------------------

Cas stayed invisible. He watched Dean wander through the maze of scrap metal, mumbling to himself, running his hand across his forehead like he did when he was lost or confused. It wasn't until he started punching out windows, bloodying his hand as he did, that Cas finally showed himself. "Dean?"

"Not right now, Cas."

"But your hand..."

"My hand is fine. I've survived a lot worse than this," Dean said, pulling a shop rag out of his back pocket and wrapping it around his split and bleeding knuckles. "Why did you follow me out here? I don't need a babysitter."

"I just wanted to check on you."

"To make sure I'm okay?" Dean turned to Cas. "The answer is no, I am not okay. My little brother is missing. You know, if it was the god squad, if it was the demons I'd know how to handle it. But humans? They are the biggest monsters of all. Somebody has him somewhere, and I don't think they're going to call me up to offer a trade anytime soon."

"We will find him, Dean."

"How, Cas? How are we going to find him? It it were me...you could use that freaky profound bond shit and find my ass. But Sam? He doesn't have an angelic tracking device." Dean turned away and looked up at the sky that was slowly growing dark. "I left him in that fucking parking lot like a sitting duck."

"But you didn't know."

"It doesn't matter what I know and what I don't know. What matters is that I wasn't there to protect him."

Dean had been living off of coffee and adrenaline for days, sleeping for an hour or two at a time. Cas could see the physical and emotional exhaustion hit and was afraid that his legs would buckle. He stepped forward and grabbed Dean from behind. Dean tensed for a moment and reached for Cas's arms before he relaxed against his chest and wrapped his fingers around his wrists, holding Cas's arms against his body. "The longer this goes on, the worse it's going to get," he whispered. He didn't know if it was the alcohol, the exhaustion, or the fact that Cas had always been able to calm him, but he turned around and let his body go, knowing that Cas would hold him up. "What do I do, Cas? I don't know what to do," he whispered against Cas's neck, wrapping his arms loosely around him. 

"Dean, you are the best hunter out there. You can track anything. Bobby, he embodies knowledge. What he doesn't already know, he can find. And I, we all know what I am capable of. This isn't about what you can do, it's about all of us, and we will find him." Dean tightened his arms and held back tears, his warm breath shaky against Cas's neck. Cas didn't know the ways of humans, but out of reaction he reached up and cradled the back of Dean's head, holding it against his shoulder. Dean was his charge, Dean needed him, and he wasn't going to let go until Dean stepped away. 

\-------------------------

It took Bobby's voice calling them in for dinner for Dean to finally move, sliding his hands across Cas's back and stopping to hold them against his sides. The comfort he felt in Cas's arms almost frightened him. Somehow, when Cas touched him, he felt like everything was going to work out. He lifted his head and his emerald green eyes locked onto Cas's indescribably blue ones. He had seen hope in Cas's eyes, he had seen storms in Cas's eyes, but right now he saw fight in Cas's eyes. He wasn't going to give up. Dean pulled him in for another quick embrace, silently letting go and turning to walk towards the house.

\-------------------------

All three men sat at the small table lost in their own thoughts. Bobby was worried. He was worried about Sam, but even more worried about Dean. He loved both of those boys, but if the truth were to be told, he favored Dean. He'd see that boy hurt too many times, watched him go through entirely too many things, and knew that although he survived, that's almost all he did. He survived. Dean never really lived. Bobby could never stomach the way that John Winchester had raised those boys to be hunters. Dean was so deep in his own thoughts, he wasn't sure where he was. He was re-living a nightmare and he knew that it wouldn't end well. Besides the two sitting with him, Sam was all he had and Sam was by far the most important. Cas was pushing his food around on his plate. He didn't need to eat or drink, but he always took a plate from Bobby as a gesture of respect. He knew how much Bobby meant to Dean and he knew how much Dean meant to Bobby. Cas was just as afraid as they were. He was afraid for Sam's life, and he was afraid of what Dean would do.

\-------------------------

"So you were checking out this holy roller's death?"

"Yeah. He keeled over on stage, was a stiff by the time he hit the ground. The coroner's report couldn't find anything wrong with the guy."

"So what are you thinking, maybe a witch?"

"That's what we figured," Dean sighed, leaning back against the couch. "We would have gone back later to check for hex bags, but that may have been pointless. Any good witch, or probably coven, would have gone back for them. No trail. This guy was famous and they had to know that it would receive a lot of media attention."

"So you didn't get anything? Names? Addresses? Nothing?"

"We didn't have time, Bobby. We got as far as the Medical Examiners office and then somebody kicked in our door."

"Which obviously wasn't random. Whoever planned this took their time. I'm wondering if this good reverend's death was a way to get you there."

Dean leaned forward and picked up his drink from where he had set it on the coffee table, "Why would they go through all of that on the off chance that we would show up?"

"Well first of all, if it's a coven, they're aren't going through a whole hell of a lot. Some well placed hex bags and a spell. It's not complicated. And you have to figure a case of this magnitude is going to bring the Winchesters. Once it hit the radar, every other hunter out there backed off. You boys have a reputation and that's why you end up working the big ones. Garth, Travis, Martin...they're all decent hunters if we need a wendigo or a djinn killed, but they couldn't handle something this big, something this public. This was going to be a Winchester job and whoever has Sam was banking on it."

"He was a TV Evangelist. Do you think there's some type of meaning behind that? Some kind of poetic justice?"

"Could be," Bobby answered, turning to Cas. "Thoughts, angel boy?"

"These TV Evangelists aren't real. I'm sure you already knew that, but they are actually looked upon with humor. There is no such thing as a direct line to heaven."

"Really?" Dean grinned for the first time in days.

"Unless it's under special circumstances," Cas mumbled. "What I'm saying is, we don't give humans the power to heal the sick or perform miraculous acts. We try to avoid doing those things ourselves in order to keep from being discovered if we are on earth. There is not an angel up there who would be helping one of these so called 'believers'. And God, certainly God wouldn't. We don't even know where he is."

"Okay, so the guy was a phony, big surprise. But, he was some type of freaky religious pop culture icon. If this has anything to do with the demon blood, that's also going to attract your religious crazies. Who knows about the demon blood besides us?"

"The angels and demons, obviously. I don't know, Dean. You're lives have been looked at pretty closely by a lot of folks. You took out that yellow eyed demon that killed your mother, we opened a portal and let others out. You traded your soul for Sam's life and went to Hell. A lot of tongues were wagging and the rumor mill was running like crazy. Especially after you came back. Hunters know that there is something about you and Sam that ain't like everyone else, they just don't know the whole story." 

"I know, Bobby, and we need to keep it that way. But the demon blood...have we been able to keep that on the down low? I mean how many people can say that they know for a fact that my brother carries demon blood."

"Well other than us, none."

"If this is somehow connected to that, and I'm guessing that it is, these sick fucks set up their little trap and took home the ultimate grand prize. They know about Sam and they need him for something. Are we dealing with more religious crazies here?"

"It's possible," Cas said quietly.

"So how would they know, and what would they want?"

"I don't know, Dean. But that's where we need to start," Bobby said, holding up the bottle of scotch as a signal asking Dean if he needed more. Dean just nodded and handed him his glass.

"Chances are if they are looking at him as some type of, as you'd say, prize, some type of messiah, they won't hurt him."

Dean turned his head and Cas could see the fear in Dean's eyes. "Not yet, Cas. But eventually they will do something and we need to stop them before they do."

\-------------------------

Sam was starving, so he finally caved in and ate. He had no idea who was holding him, or why, but they weren't trying to harm him and that was almost scarier than being chained up and tortured. They had plans for him, big plans. He didn't talk as they came and went, bringing him food and changes of clothes. He'd wandered around the room looking for camera's, looking for something to use as a weapon, looking for a way out. So far he hadn't found anything. Whoever these people were, they took precautions. They had been prepared for this. He looked at the books and noticed that most of them were religious texts. He realized that he was being held by some type of religious sect and they knew about the demon blood. What he didn't know was their end game, or how in the hell Dean was going to find him.

\-------------------------

"You know that I can't sleep, and I know that you're here somewhere, Cas. You might as well show yourself."

Cas slowly stepped out of the shadows.

"It still creeps me out a little that you watch me sleep. It even makes me nervous to shower once in awhile."

"I don't watch you every night."

"I know, but I'm guessing that until we find Sam you aren't going anywhere?"

"No."

Dean sat up and made room on the couch. "That whole standing in the middle of the room thing can be added to the list of things that creep me out. Sit." Cas moved across the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch. 

"This is my fault, Cas," Dean said quietly.

"Dean, we talked about this. You can't be with your brother every moment of every day."

"That's not what I mean. I started this," Dean slid the blanket off of his lap, ran his hands up his face with a deep sigh, and got up to pace. "What was it you told me? 'The first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break'?"

"Dean, don't do this."

"Do what, Cas? Take responsibility for my actions? I spent years on the rack down there. It's still crazy to me that in this world I was only gone for four months when I had actually lived forty years down there. The smell of burning flesh, the screams, those are things that I will never forget. It's like they have become a part of me. And those first thirty years, they were horrific. The pain...the pain was unimaginable. I never knew," Dean said quietly, his voice breaking. "I never knew that pain like that existed. But every day when they offered me the chance to get down, that they would stop on the condition that I would stand by their side and help, I felt like somehow my pathetic ass had proven a point when I told them no. They hurt me and they hurt me in ways that I can't even bear to talk about, but I kept my humanity. Some of it, at least. Until that day. They broke me, more than I was already broken. I couldn't take anymore." Cas could see the tears coursing down Dean's cheeks when he stopped and looked up at the ceiling. "The feeling of them unbinding me, it was this sick relief. Even though I knew what they expected, even though I knew what they were going to make me do, stepping off that rack was like nothing I'd ever felt before."

"Dean, you don't have to do this..."

Dean turned and looked at Cas, "Yes, I do. I tortured souls in Hell, Cas. I couldn't take any more so I gave in and I became one of them. Not just one of them, I became one of the best. For ten years I watched souls come and go and I didn't give a shit who it was they put in front of me. I sliced and I diced and I did all of the things that those bastards had done to me while I was up there. I didn't care, none of it mattered to me, it didn't feel wrong. I wasn't thinking about Sam or Bobby or anyone."

"I understand that there are things that you will never forget, and if I could help you to let those memories go I would. But what happened down there has absolutely nothing to do with this."

"Didn't you listen? I mean you were the one who gave me the goddamn lesson in the beginning. The prophecy. I broke the first seal. I'm not a righteous man, but I'm a Winchester and that's what they wanted. If I had just stayed on that rack, Sam would not be in danger," Dean said quietly, his voice breaking.

Cas went to him and again wrapped him in his arms. "No, but you would still be down there and he would be here alone. Yes, you broke the first seal, and we all know how this is supposed to end. Sam is expected to give his vessel to Lucifer. You are expected to offer yours to the archangel Michael, and you will face off on a battlefield. You will fight to the death. That's what the prophecy states, but that's not what has happened, it's not going to happen."

"Why did I get off of that rack?" Dean cried, letting Cas pull him close.

"You are just a man, even down there you were just a man, and a man can only take so much before he breaks."

"I was already broken, Cas."

"Maybe you were," Cas whispered. "Maybe they used that against you. You did what you had to do, but in the end you came back."

"You brought me back," Dean said quietly, pulling Cas against him. He felt safe, he felt some of the self loathing slip away.

"Not for the right reasons, but I did."

Dean leaned his head back and searched Cas's face. "You defied orders, you've shown free will. You've had your ass kicked by your family, you've had your life threatened, but you stay. Why?"

"You are my charge, Dean. I knew the minute I touched your soul that I couldn't let anything hurt you, not if I could stop it."

Dean was overwhelmed. Cas was the only one who knew about what had happened to him in hell, the things that he'd done in order to break the first seal. Cas was the only one who knew that he carried it around inside of him and it was a huge part in what made him angry and reckless...guilty. But, Cas stayed, he always stayed. Dean let go and pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt, looking at the scar that Cas had left the day he retrieved his soul. He wasn't prepared for the electric shock he felt when Cas reached out and touched it. Cas had never touched it, Cas never really saw it. Dean watched him line his hand up against it and he felt something inside of him shift, something that he couldn't explain. He didn't think before he placed his hand on the back of Cas's head and pressed their lips together, surprised when Cas parted his and they deepened the kiss. Cas's grip on his shoulder tightened when Dean pulled away to run his full lips along Cas's neck. He couldn't afford to think. He just needed to feel something other than fear. He led Cas to the couch, forcing his hand away from his shoulder long enough to push his trenchcoat and suit jacket down his arms until they fell in a pile on the floor. "Shoes too..." he whispered while his fingers deftly worked to unknot Cas's tie. He fell backwards onto the couch, pulling Cas on top of him, letting him settle between his legs. They kissed desperately, slowly rocking their hips as Dean grew painfully hard. He could stop this now and go take care of himself, but everything told him that Cas wanted it as badly as he did. He let Cas pull his t-shirt over his head and groaned when he felt his soft lips run across his shoulder. "Sit up," he said quietly, reaching for the buttons on Cas's shirt, fumbling to undo them and watched Cas as he pulled it down his arms and dropped it on the floor. The dim fire was the only light they had, and this was the first time Dean had ever seen Cas's body. He was surprised by the toned stomach, the muscular chest and shoulders, an amazing body that had been hidden under layers of clothing until now. Cas bent down, pressing their chests together, boldly sliding his hand between their bodies to touch Dean through his pants. He gently squeezed his hard cock, running his palm along the zipper. Dean groaned again, not understanding how Cas knew where to touch him, but giving in to the feeling of his hand. He could feel the loosening of his belt, the pop as the button was undone, and the gentle slide of the zipper. He gasped when Cas wrapped his hand around his cock and started to slowly stroke. Dean knew that he could come right now if he left himself, but he refused to be a selfish lover. "Pants..." he said, breathing heavily, "both of us." He watched Cas move off of the couch to slide the rest of his clothes off and he couldn't tear his eyes away. When he heard the last of his own clothes drop onto the floor, he pulled Cas to him and rolled him onto his back, holding himself on his elbows as he slid between Cas's legs and trapped their hard cocks between their sweaty bodies. Cas moaned when he first felt the friction as Dean rocked his hips. He'd never felt anything like this, he'd never expected anything like this. He pulled Dean to him for a needy kiss, running his hands down Dean's sides, leaning his head back when he felt the full lips slide across his neck, kissing and biting. He could feel pressure, he could feel something building and he tensed his legs against Dean's hips, pressing his hands against his lower back. "Just let it go..." Dean whispered. Dean caught him in a deep kiss as he came. He was dizzy and trembling when he felt the warmth spread between them and felt Dean's deep groan against his chest. Their hips rocked slowly a few more times before Dean let his sweaty body relax and buried his face in Cas's neck, biting back the tears. "You don't need to hold back, Dean." Cas whispered. He pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch to cover them and wrapped his arms around Dean, ready to hold him until he stopped crying.

\-------------------------

Sam didn't know exactly how long he had been there. They brought him two meals a day and he could get some sense of time by what was on TV. It seemed like he'd been there for at least four, possibly five days when the doctor came to him without a tray.

"It really has been a pleasure having you here, Sam. Mavis and I have been honored, but we know that it's best if you don't stay in one place for too long. Don't worry, Bob and Alice will take care of you just as we have. I'm afraid that Bob isn't a doctor, but I have taught him the basics." Before Sam knew what was going on, the man pulled out a syringe and stuck it into his upper arm. "This won't knock you out right away. I can't imagine trying to drag you out of here unconscious. What are you 6'3"...6'4"? This will just make you relax so that we can get you to the car and on your way." He put a hood over Sam's head and led him out of the room. Sam was taken up a flight of stairs and through what he thought must be a kitchen. He was taken to a garage and helped into the back of a van. "Goodbye Sam, it has been a true pleasure having you here. We will be seeing you soon," he heard Mavis's sing song voice before the van door closed and they started down the driveway. Whatever drug the doctor had given kicked in and he laid across the back seat, dozing. 

\-------------------------

"I'm going to chalk that up to, should feel weird but doesn't," Dean grinned, propped on his elbows searching Cas's eyes. There was no hope, there was no storm, there was no fight, it was something else entirely. "So where did you learn the whole groping me through my pants thing?"

"I do have one of my own," Cas smiled. 

"True, true...I can attest to that. I just didn't think that you ever..."

"Had any use for it? I really haven't, but I still know how it feels when you..."

"So you? You've actually rubbed one out?"

Dean could sense Cas's embarrassment. "No, no there is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed by that. Hell, I've done it three or four times in one day before. It's actually freakishly hot to think about you doing it. I guess I never took the human vessel thing seriously until tonight."

"Are you sorry?" Cas whispered.

"Are you asking me if I have any regrets?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely not," Dean smiled, running his thumb across Cas's cheekbone. "I needed this, and I needed it to be you. I'm safe with you, I'm calm with you, and you are seriously sexy under all of those clothes." He dipped his head for a tender kiss before leaning back and looking into those eyes again. "This isn't about questioning ourselves, okay? It's something that I wanted, I needed. It reached a point where you wanted it too, and it happened. You are the best friend that I have ever had, and surprisingly good in bed. I'm not going to let things get awkward. We have a job to do, we both know that. But laying with you right now isn't keeping me from doing this job. If you weren't here I would either be sleeping, which is doubtful, or I'd be staring at the ceiling. I'd rather be holding you against Bobby's old couch than doing either one of those things. Is this weird for you? I mean, are we good?"

"Yes and yes. I've never done it, but you knew that. I never really thought about it, so it is a little strange. But yes, we're good."

"Okay then," Dean said, dropping a soft kiss on Cas's tender and swollen lips. "I need to get up and find something to clean up this mess." Cas watched him climb off the couch and go into the kitchen. He heard water running before Dean came back and gently wiped off his stomach with a damp dishtowel. "Bobby would kill us if he knew that's what I used this dishtowel for," Dean chuckled. He handed Cas his clothes and started pulling his own back on. "I would ask you to, you know, share the couch but the last thing we need is for Bobby to see us naked." Cas just smiled as he got dressed. He leaned down to pick up his coat and tie when Dean stopped him. "We both know that you watch me sleep," Dean said quietly. "So you know that I haven't really slept in days. I don't know why, but you have this way of making me feel...I don't know...I can't explain it. Will you just stay here with me until I fall asleep?" Cas climbed on the couch and under the blanket, letting Dean wrap his arms around him and pull him close. It was only a matter of minutes before he felt the soft snoring against the back of his neck. He laid there for hours wondering what had just happened between them and why did he feel like there was a chance that things could go so wrong.

\-------------------------

The bed was not as comfortable, but it was larger. The entire room was larger. There was no television this time, but two full shelves of books, again mostly religious texts. Sam knew the only way to get answers was to earn their trust somehow. They needed him alive and he needed to play along. He started engaging in conversation, forcing himself to keep the hostility out of his voice. He didn't ask about Dean, he wasn't sure how much they knew about Dean. He didn't ask about the future, he was simply polite. He found out that Bob and Alice had four children, two were away at college. Bob was an accountant, Alice worked part time in a daycare. Sam could not figure out why these seemingly normal people wanted him. Angels wanted him, demons wanted him, not the sweet couple that lived on the corner lot. They were all obviously religious, and he knew that played a huge part in this, but there was no way for them to know about the Winchester's involvement in the prophecy. Nobody other than Bobby knew. He just had to keep playing the game and using his puppy dog eyes and dimples to his advantage.

\-------------------------

"Well I think that we've agreed on probably some weird religious sect, which hopefully means that they plan to keep him alive. But where do we go from here? Look up all of the known ones and try to figure out how to find the underground ones? It's a hell of a job." Dean leaned back and took a sip of his coffee, winking when he noticed Cas watching him.

"I've got a guy who's an expert on this type of thing. I can put some feelers out."

"And tell them what, Bobby? That we have a guy full of demon blood who is supposed to be in the starring role in the apocalypse?"

"No, you dumbass. I think that I can be a little more subtle than that. For now I say we look into the big ones. We're probably chasing our tails, but it's better than doing nothing. Let me call my guy and I'll get a list started. You need to get ready to hit the road and come up with a legitimate reason for looking into these folks. They're going to be shy and they are going to be shady. They're not going to take to kindly to a guy from the CDC or FBI showing up. I don't know if your reporter bullshit will work."

"I have an angel on my team. You don't think that can get me in with the religious type?"

"Idjit," Bobby mumbled as he left the kitchen.

"Speaking of angels on my team," Dean smiled, pulling Cas's chair closer to his. He reached out and wrapped his hand around Cas's neck, leaning in for a slow kiss, parting his lips slowly, letting their tongues slide together. 

"Dean..." Cas whispered, finally pulling away.

"What? He's not watching. I thought that we agreed no regrets."

"I don't have any regrets. I just thought..."

"That it was a one time things? Maybe it was, who knows? I just know that now I can picture you naked and it's a little distracting."

"Dean! Get your ass in here! I have a list of places you can start."

"Okay, time to focus," Dean smiled, pressing his lips to Cas's one last time before he pushed away from the table and followed the sound of Bobby's voice.

\-------------------------

"Okay, so Bobby was right. We can't exactly just show up at the door and ask if they've seen a 6'4" guy who carries demon blood. We have to go about this smart. I'm thinking that maybe you can do the whole invisibility thing. Check out where they worship, listen to what they have going on, and we take it from there. You know all of the biblical shit. We come up with a script and, I don't know, maybe act interested in joining. These big ones always seem to be looking for new members. If we know how to talk the talk, when we hit the front door, it might buy us some trust."

"That could work," Cas said, watching Dean toss his bag on the motel room bed. Out of habit he had gotten a double and Cas wondered how long it would take for it to sink in that Sam wouldn't be there to sleep in the other bed.

"This one," Dean said, handing Cas a piece of paper. "It's only a few miles away and it looks like their first service is in about an hour." He pulled Cas against him. "So, unless that was a one time thing," he murmured from where he was running his lips across Cas's neck. "It looks like we have an hour to kill."

"And a monster has been created," Cas laughed.

"No, more like a bisexual man who didn't realize until last night that his angelic best friend is actually very sexy and hopefully getting turned on." Cas shrugged off his trench and suit coat and started loosening his tie while Dean clumsily worked the buttons on his shirt, stopping to place his lips against Cas's body every time he got one opened. He undid the final one and knelt down, "I really need to stop wearing boots," he grunted as he worked to untie them. He finally looked up and could see that Cas was hard. He stood and kicked his boots across the room. "And we really need to start thinking about our wardrobe options," he murmured against Cas's mouth before they reached for each other's belts. Their pants were in a pile on the floor by the time Dean pressed Cas against the mattress, kissing him softly, moving his mouth down his neck and across his shoulders. He could already feel Cas's breaths coming in quickly and he smiled, working his way down his chest, sucking on a sensitive nipple before reaching to wrap his fingers around Cas's cock. He started slowly stroking, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin on his hips and thighs. He looked up and watched Cas's face when he swirled his tongue around the head and then slid it across slowly. Cas's breath caught and he moaned softly. Dean took just the head into his mouth, gently sucking and moving his tongue while his hand slowly stroked. He knew that Cas wasn't going to last long when he started sliding his head up and down, taking as much of him as he could, swirling his tongue around the silky skin of the shaft. Dean could feel the throbbing when he moaned around Cas's cock, pushing his head forward and feeling the sticky fluid slide down the back of his throat. He looked up again and watched Cas's chest heave while he gently licked and sucked until he'd gone limp. He crawled up the bed and pulled Cas against him. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so," Cas said quietly.

Dean grinned, "Give it a minute."

"But what about you? I mean don't you..."

"I'm fine. I'm a lot of things, Cas. I'm an asshole with major issues and a pretty serious anger management problem, but I'm not selfish in bed. At least I try not to be. It's like the only time you can escape, even if it's just for a few minutes. Your mind is focused on one thing, and everything else just kind of falls away." Cas nodded against Dean's chest. "Well, it looks like you have a church service to be at soon and I need a long shower and some food." Cas groaned as he got up off of the bed and threw his clothes on. "So, you'll come straight back here when you're done?"

"Where else would I go?"

Dean heard the fluttering of Cas disappearing and went to start the shower. He had a little frustration that he needed to take care of.

\-------------------------

Sam started talking to Bob about religion. Through experience, he had a working knowledge and was able to hold his own in a conversation. He never brought up the book of Revelations or the apocalypse, he waited patiently for Bob to slip up. Bob talked with awe about the angels, especially the archangels and Sam had to hold back both laughter and bitterness. He knew angels, he'd met archangels, and they were certainly not the do-gooders that Bob thought them to be. What Sam couldn't figure out is if they all knew that he carried demon blood, if they knew that he was to be Lucifer's vessel at the end of the apocalypse, why were they going to such great lengths to keep him safe. They were obviously working for somebody, or rather listening to somebody, and that somebody needed a healthy and well rested Sam Winchester. 

\-------------------------

Cas had nothing interesting to report. It was a group of religious zealots, but no talk of the apocalypse or doomsday. He was able to poke around in the church files, and no mention of anybody or anything that he was familiar with. It was a dead end. They moved on. Another town, another religious group. Cas reported that this group was really nothing more than your modern day hippies wanting to live peacefully on a commune. He stood in the corner at the third church and listened to an impassioned minister espouse upon the fire and brimstone that sin would bring upon you. If it wasn't who they were looking for he knew at the very least, it would entertain Dean. Dean had grown increasingly jumpy and nervous, pacing like a caged animal. The only time he was calm was in bed. All Cas had to do was lay with him, skin to skin, or run his lips gently over the scar on his shoulder and it was like a drug. Even when he was sexually hungry and needy, Dean was relaxed. Cas returned to the motel room and found Dean laying on the bed, a drink resting on his stomach while he watched a football game.

"I don't think it would be appropriate to go to church smelling like scotch and the service starts in about 45 minutes."

Dean grabbed the drink and sat up, "you think that you found it?"

"I don't know. A part of me doubts it, but it's the best lead we have so far. The minister uses fear, he talks about sin and how the end will come about. If any of these big sects have Sam, this would be the one."

Dean set his drink on the table, kissed Cas hard, and went into the bathroom to shower. Cas knew that it was probably a dead end, but he needed to get Dean out of the room.

\-------------------------

"It's always nice to see new faces at our services," the middle aged woman said at the door to the assembly hall. Most of these offshoot sects didn't have actual churches, they met wherever they could. "What brings you here, Mr.?"

"Dawkins, Dean Dawkins," Dean cursed himself for using the name that Sam had given them. Not because he thought it might give them away, but because he hated that Sam chose the name.

"Welcome Mr. Dawkins. And this is?"

"I'm sorry, I'm his cousin. Castiel Nye."

"Castiel?"

"It's biblical."

"I would assume so. It sounds like you have a rich religious background."

"We do. although I have to admit, he's kept up on the bible study more than I have," Dean smiled. 

"Where are you all from?"

"Uh, Kansas, we just moved up here from Kansas. We're just trying to get settled and you know how it is, finding the right church is the best place to start."

"Well, I couldn't agree more Mr. Dawkins," she smiled, handing them each a program. Cas smiled back and ushered Dean into the building, finding seats in the middle of the congregation. 

After the second hour of the sermon had started Dean leaned over to Cas, "I am going to sin with you so hard later you are not going to know what hit you."

Cas turned red and tried to focus on what the minister was saying. Church services always amused him when they got so many things wrong.

\-------------------------

"Well that was a dead end, and 2 1/2 hours of my life wasted. I do not understand how people can actually sit through that shit for 2 1/2 hours."

"People don't understand how you can spend four hours watching a football game."

"Hey, at least I can drink and eat junk food during a football game. Anyway, even though that guy is a total jackass, I don't think this is the one. It didn't have the right feel. He's bat shit crazy, but he doesn't seem to have what it takes to pull of a plan like kidnapping Sam. My brother is a force to be reckoned with and whoever did this has to know that. This place, these people, they don't have it. I'll call Bobby when we get back to the motel and see what else he's got for us." They climbed in the Impala and tore out of the parking lot.

\-------------------------

"I thought you were going to call Bobby," Cas murmured against Dean's mouth.

Dean pulled away, "Really? Did you have to bring his name into it?" He smiled when he wrapped his arms around Cas again and started kissing his neck. "He can wait for an hour," he mumbled, pushing Cas's trench and suitcoat off. "Or two," he said quietly, deftly undoing his tie and sliding it around his neck slowly, dropping it on the floor. "Hell, he can ever wait until morning," he whispered, fumbling with Cas's shirt buttons. 

Cas smiled and reached up to push Dean's suit jacket off, "I get to undo your tie for once."

\-------------------------

Cas could smell Dean's skin before he even pressed their bodies together. That moment when his calloused hands turned to velvet against Cas's skin and his full lips left goosebumps in their wake always took Cas to another place. He groaned quietly at the loss of body heat when Dean reached to turn on the lamp and knelt between Cas's legs. Cas saw the hunger in his green eyes when he moved his hands across Cas's body, sliding his palms against his sensitive nipples, tracing the subtle ridges of muscles with his fingertips. "Do you trust me, Cas?" he asked softly. "Hhmmm...?" Cas murmured. "Do you trust me?" Cas opened his eyes and they locked gazes. "You want to be inside of me," Cas whispered. "You know that I trust you." Dean felt his cock twitch at just the idea of being inside of Cas. He slid the pillows under Cas's hips and bent down for a desperate kiss while he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a small bottle. "I know that this is going to hurt, but I am going to do everything I can to make it worth it to you." Cas watched him drip lube on his fingers and move his hand between their bodies, spreading Cas's legs. He pressed a finger against Cas's virgin hole before slowly sliding it in. He felt the moan building and started moving it in and out. He caught Cas in a deep kiss before he slipped in the second finger. He felt the sharp intake of breath and moved his fingers until he found what he was looking for, the spot that made Cas arch his body and rock against his hand. He was as gentle as he could be with the third finger, hating the look of pain on Cas's face as he tried to loosen him, but he relaxed when he saw Cas's mouth become a mixture of both and wince and a smile. He pulled his fingers out and buried his slick cock in one motion, gripping Cas's hips to hold their bodies together. "It's okay baby, we won't move until you're ready," he whispered. He bent down and slid his lips along Cas's collarbone, across his shoulders, up his neck, and finally kissed him deeply. He shivered when Cas's hands slid up his arms and down his back. He needed Cas to want this as much as he did. Cas's hips started to move slowly. Dean tried to stay as still as he could, shifting his body until he heard the gasp. He slowly slid his cock in and out, grazing the spot that made Cas's eyes roll back while he writhed against Dean. Dean was moving slowly, he wanted this to last. He groaned when Cas tilted his hips and dug his fingers into his back. He reached between them and wrapped his hand around Cas, stroking while he thrusted, ready to come but holding back. Cas's legs spread wider, his body arched, the combination of pain and pleasure was like nothing he'd ever felt before and he didn't want it to end. Dean's hand tightened around him and started stroking faster, he could feel it building. He cried out Dean's name and came in his hand, rocking his body. "C'mon..." he whispered. "I want to feel you..." Dean groaned and with a strangled cry thrust one final time and came harder than he ever had. Cas already had his arms open when Dean collapsed against him, sweaty and unable to catch his breath. "People are so right when they say to make sure that your lover is also your best friend," Dean whispered, turning his head for a long and lingering kiss. "I couldn't get through this without you, Cas." Cas just looked at those green eyes, the sweat running across the hairline that framed Dean's beautiful face, his amazing full lips, and the spattering of freckles that weren't something you would expect to see on a grown man, but somehow added to the perfection that was Dean Winchester.

\-------------------------

Trying to become friendly didn't seem to get him anywhere. Again, Sam looked for cameras, a weapon, a way out. Again, he found nothing. Bob and Alice also kept six locks on the door, brought him two meals a day, and gave him hospital scrubs to wear. He was growing exhausted, but he wondered if that was the idea. They hadn't asked anything of him, quite the opposite. They seemed to want him healthy but he still could not figure out the end game. Within a few days, Bob came to him with the syringe and told him excitedly that it was time to leave and go to his final destination.

\-------------------------

"Nope, dead end Bobby. What else ya got?" They had just gotten out of the shower and Dean was watching Cas get dressed while Bobby was rambling. "Okay, we can check that one out. That's it? That's all your guy has? No, I get it. It's hard to find an obscure religious sect if they want to stay obscure. Okay, I'll call you back as soon as I know something."

"What did Bobby say?"

"He found one more, that's it. We're chasing our tails. It's been what, almost two weeks and we're chasing our fucking tails." He sank down into a chair and dropped his head in his hands. "What if we never fucking find him, Cas?"

"Dean, we will find him."

"Him or his fucking corpse? I should be looking for him 24/7, not fucking around and waiting for Bobby to call. This isn't a case, this is my brother."

"I'll look into this last group that Bobby told you about and then we'll go from there," Cas picked up the piece of paper that Dean had written the address on and disappeared. He hated that what Dean said stung.

\-------------------------

He came back and just shook his head when Dean looked at him, his eyes red and puffy. "Damnit!" Dean yelled, sweeping the lamp off of the cheap dresser with his arm. Cas winced when it hit the ground and shattered. He watched Dean kick a chair and punch out the glass covering a picture before he wrapped his arms around him from behind to stop him. "This is me, this is all on me. My brother is probably fucking dead because of me."

"Dean, Sam is alive because of you."

"Yeah, he was a couple of weeks ago."

"We don't know what happened to him, but we need to keep going after him believing that he is alive. You can't give up just because you feel guilty or broken."

"God Cas, you know how fucked up I am. You know where I've been and what I've done. Why do you stay?"

"Because I don't know how to leave."

Dean turned in his arms and cupped his face. His lips were gentle and it was wordless. 

Their clothes were long forgotten on the floor and the darkness was full of soft sighs and slow hands gliding over supple skin. Mouths disturbing the fine sheen of sweat that had formed. It was sultry and easy, their bodies moving together, arching against one another, gentle words whispered. A haze of musk and low moans that lasted the night and ended smoothly. Dean fell asleep with their bodies intertwined, Cas stayed awake and listened to his soft snore. He'd told Dean the truth, he didn't know how to leave.

\-------------------------

He wasn't in a basement this time, but the windows were still barred. He parted the curtains and could the the large expanse of lawn. There were houses nearby, but none close enough to see him standing in the window. This room was larger than the other two, it reminded Sam of a hotel suite. Sam turned his back to the window when he heard the locks, again there were six of them. A man walked in, not much older than he was, holding a pile of clothes and a tray. "I see that everybody had taken good care of you, that's good. I'm Nate, and welcome to my home. You actually get cable this time. I thought you might be tired of the scrubs so I brought you some regular clothes. It's a good thing that Mavis told me that you really are that tall or I would have gotten the wrong size. Anyway, I'm guessing you know the drill by now. Just hang tight and I'll be back in a little while to check in with you."

"Wait."

Nate turned around and looked at Sam, "What?"

"I have been dragged to three different houses now, and from what I can tell it's been a couple of weeks. Now I have my suspicions, but I don't know what the end game is here. Obviously I can't get away or I would have already. You guys have been pretty fucking smart about keeping everything on lock down, including anything that I could use as a weapon. You've even made sure that the mirrors are fucking plastic so that I can't break them. The least you could do is tell me what I am doing here."

"Sam, we're not here to harm you. In fact, the deal is that you be kept safe and in good health which is what we've been doing. It will all be over soon."

"The deal?"

"You'll understand soon enough."

Sam flinched when he heard the door close and again, the six locks engage. A deal, he was supposed to be part of a deal. It was moments like this when he understood Dean's need for destruction, but he had to keep his head straight. He needed to find any way he could to get out of here. Taking Nate out wasn't an option, for all he knew there were a dozen armed guys on the other side of that door. There had to be something.

\-------------------------

Having run out of options, and slowly losing hope, they had gone back to Bobby's. It looked like Sam had just disappeared and for the first time, Dean was trying to track something that he couldn't find. He spent the first day drinking and wandering outside. Bobby didn't say anything, and Cas didn't go to him. Cas thought about leaving, but he knew that he couldn't. He needed to be there to see this through. Bobby finally gave up and went to bed, trusting Cas to deal with Dean when he came back inside. It was late when Cas heard the door open and watched Dean walk past him, setting an empty bottle on Bobby's desk. "So I've been trying to figure out, how exactly do you have a hunters funeral when you don't even know where in the fuck the hunter is?"

"Dean..."

"No, Cas just hear me out. I mean, two weeks in our world is a long fucking time. The last time he went missing it was a couple of days. Days, Cas, not weeks. He's gone. He fucking gone and I have no idea what to do. I can't exactly sell my soul, been there done that and it's probably considered damaged goods. Can't ask for divine intervention. Besides the fact that they're all pissed off because I don't want to play their game, I've spent the last two weeks fucking an angel. I can track and I can kill. There isn't a creature out there that I can't find, except for a goddamn human being."

"Dean, you need to be quiet."

"What? Or I'll wake Bobby up? That old man doesn't wake up for shit. Do you think this is the first time I have stood in this house drunk and pissed off? Drunk and pissed off is kind of what I do."

Cas shrugged of his coat and crossed the room, reaching out to grab Dean's arm. "Dean..."

Dean turned and Cas could see that his eyes were blazing. "You here to make me feel better? Because it works, damn does it work. This thing between us, some of the best I've had. Problem is, like I may have mentioned before, I am drunk, I am pissed off, and I am ready to mourn my baby brother so I don't think that even you could do a fucking thing to help me right now." Cas stepped forward until their faces were just inches apart. "But you're going to try anyway, aren't you?" Dean growled quietly. He held Cas in a rough kiss, undoing his tie and yanking it off of his body, pulling his shirt open, barely hearing the buttons hit the wooden floor. He broke the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head and in a frenzy they unhooked, unbuttoned, unzipped, pushed and pulled until their clothes were in a pile. Dean dug the bottle of lube out of his bag and sat on the couch, pulling Cas on top of him, Cas's thighs on either side of Dean's hips. He was biting and sucking on Cas's neck and shoulders, leaving marks with his teeth, pulling blood to the surface. Cas took the bottle from Dean's hand and dripped it onto his own fingers, leaning back and reaching between them. Readying himself, loosening himself while Dean watched. He gripped Dean's shoulders when he raised himself up on his knees and slid down his cock, taking every inch of him. He knew what Dean needed when he kissed him hard and started moving. Dean pressed a hand against Cas's back and slid one up to wrap around his shoulder, rocking his hips, pulling Cas against him, trapping his cock. Dean just moaned when Cas bit him almost hard enough to break the skin. Dean needed to be fucked. Their bodies came together hard, Cas taking him deep with every slide and every thrust of Dean's hips. Their mouths were hungry, sucking and biting, their lips swollen from the crushing kisses. There was more pain than pleasure but Cas came by the intensity alone. "Keep fucking me baby..." Dean whispered, gripping Cas's shoulder, digging his fingers into his hips, thrusting against him. He reached up and grabbed both shoulders before he came, almost violently, and slowly slid his hands down Cas's back. He rested his forehead on Cas's shoulder, his body shaking with sobs. "God, I'm sorry Cas. I know that I hurt you and I..." Cas put his hands on either side of Dean's face and lifted his head, "We are both going to be sore in the morning and we will probably have some marks that Bobby will wonder about, but I was a willing participant in this. You needed this, and maybe I did to." Dean pulled Cas to him and cried while Cas held him, already feeling the pain setting in.

\-------------------------

"Who's Ramiel?"

"What?" Cas looked down at where Dean's head was resting in his lap. It had taken awhile, but he finally got Dean talked down, dressed, and somewhat relaxed.

"Ramiel. I heard that minister mention something about Ramiel and when Bobby was on the phone earlier I swear I heard him say that name. Does it ring a bell?"

"Ramiel is one of my brothers, but I can't imagine what he would have to do with this. He's the angel of..."

"What Cas?"

"I've got to go."

Dean watched Cas throw his coat and tie back on and heard the fluttering when he disappeared. He wandered over to Bobby's desk and looked through his book on angels. He looked at where Cas had last been standing when he read that Ramiel was the angel who looked over those who were to be resurrected.

\-------------------------

Bobby didn't ask about the marks on Dean's neck, he figured it had something to do with all of the ruckus he'd heard the night before, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. "Ramiel?"

"Yes. The fire and brimstone minister, the one that Cas and I saw, mentioned him. He mentioned a whole lot of other angels but the name didn't register until I heard you say it."

"Nobody even knows if The Order of Ramiel exists anymore. There are no known members, no known meeting locations. It was a big deal 20 or 30 years ago, but it seems to have gone by the wayside."

"So why did Cas take off out of here like a bat out of hell when I said his name?"

"Cas is an angel, Dean. He knows a lot of shit that we don't."

"So maybe it's a lead?"

"Hopefully it's something."

\-------------------------

Cas looked worse for wear and he too was covered in marks when he returned. Bobby didn't have to ask, now he knew. "Ramiel he's the angel..."

"Who looks over those who are to be resurrected. Yeah, Bobby and I looked into all of that. There was a weird cult, but it's been defunct for awhile."

"Defunct or smarter? They still exist, Dean. They've gone underground."

"They exist?" Bobby questioned.

"In small numbers, yes. I couldn't get a lot of information. They don't trust me upstairs. The few who are willing to talk to me don't like to talk about either the Winchesters or Ramiel, but if they have Sam it makes sense."

"Meaning?"

"The original idea of The Order of Ramiel was to achieve dreams, riches, wealth, and everlasting life as long as you appeased him. After so many years of not finding a way to appease him, the group fell apart, except for a few fringe members. Convincing Sam Winchester to allow Lucifer to reside in his vessel is a big deal, resurrecting Lucifer is a big deal, so if an angel comes to you and says that they can offer you anything that you want in exchange for..."

"Lucifer's vessel..."

"Believers are going to take it. He showed himself, he told them who Sam is, and he let them do the dirty work."

"So Sam might still be alive?" Bobby asked, wide eyed.

"He's probably still alive. Sam agreeing to be Lucifer's vessel would be all over angel radio by now. The Order has him somewhere, and they are just waiting to meet up with Ramiel to hand him over."

"So when? Where? I mean how in the fuck to we find Sam?"

"I tried to locate Ramiel, I tried to get into his conscious but all I came up with was Bob and Alice Parker in Bedford, Illinois."

"It's a hell of a start." Dean grabbed his bag and his jacket. "Are you coming?"

Cas nodded and followed him, barely getting the passenger door of the car closed before Dean was already halfway down the gravel drive.

"Do you have your angel blade?"

Cas just nodded. He seemed out of breath, he seemed out of it in general.

"Cas, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered quietly.

"Is this because of last night? I know that I hurt you and I am so sorry, Cas. I really am. I shouldn't have..."

"It wasn't you, Dean."

"Did they..."

"Let's just say I don't have a whole lot of fans upstairs. Asking questions about the Winchesters isn't always the best idea."

"They hurt you?"

"I'm fine Dean."

"God damnit!" Dean slammed his hand against the steering wheel. He could feel the tears. All Cas had tried to do was help him, get him through this, and he'd gotten his ass kicked for it. "I'm guessing the last 12 hours have probably changed your mind about that whole not being able to leave thing," he said quietly, not wanting to picture a life without Cas.

"Not at all. Don't worry about me. Let's just get to Bedford and find Sam."

\-------------------------

Dean's pissed of demeanor and gun weren't working. Sam and Alice Parker weren't talking. It wasn't until Cas used his best angel act and partially showed his wings that they started telling their story. Their leader was a man named Nate. He lived in Central Pennsylvania and his house was to be Sam's last stop.

"And why should I believe you? I could kill you right now."

"Dean, they don't know any more. It's not worth it."

"Dean? Dean Winchester?" Bob looked at Dean in awe. "Michael's vessel?"

"No, scumbag hunter looking for my little brother. I'm going to tell you this and I'm going to tell you once. Stay the fuck away from The Order. Angels? You aren't going to get shit from them except pain. This whole thing was a lie. Now Sam better be alive when I get there or I will be back and you aren't going to like what you see."

Dean held the gun on the couple until he shut the door behind him and got into the car. He turned and looked at Cas before he started the engine. Cas just gave him a small smile and they left. Dean wanted to drive all of the way through, but he could see Cas's pain and he was exhausted. As long as Cas stayed tuned into angel radio, they would know if Ramiel got his hands on Sam. They found a cheap motel just across the Pennsylvania border and Dean figured that he would head out early in the morning. "C'mon, let's get you into a shower," he smiled at Cas. He saw the misery and it made his chest hurt. He would deal with the angels who did this to Cas after they found Sam.

\-------------------------

Dean's soapy hands were gentle when he ran them over Cas's body. He let Cas lean back against him and just held him under the warm water until it started to run cold. He dried him off gently with a rough motel room towel and led him to the bed, bypassing his clothes. "I'm not going to touch you, but you are cut and you are bruised. I know that you can't heal yourself when those assholes roll you so you need to just relax. I would say sleep, but that's pointless. Do you want anything? I know you're not a big eater or drinker, but I'll get you something, anything."

"Bacon cheeseburger," Cas smiled.

"You're just saying that because you know that I'm hungry," Dean grinned back.

"Don't forget the onion rings."

"Okay baby," Dean bent down to kiss Cas gently, placing his lips against the bruise on his cheekbone and the cut on his forehead, hating himself for the other marks. The ones that he left when he got rough with Cas. "I'll be right back." Dean kissed him again and grabbed his keys.

Cas could only think about two things. That they wouldn't just be facing Nate tomorrow. Ramiel would have caught wind of his questions and would be there. And he wondered what was going on between him and Dean. He couldn't explain how he felt, but he felt something, something that he shouldn't be able to. Angels don't have feelings, but Cas knew that he was broken. He'd been broken since the day that he'd raised Dean's soul and what he felt for Dean now went beyond the need to protect him. He craved Dean's attention, at times he felt like he lived for his touch, he could lay for hours and replay the sound of his voice in his head, even his soft snore. The thought of feeling his breath on the back of his neck made him shiver. Finding Sam was the right thing, he cared for Sam just as he cared for a brother and he desperately wanted Sam safe. But he knew that in the process he would lose a part of Dean.

\-------------------------

"I had no idea that you could eat that much."

"Neither did I," Cas laughed, tossing a balled up wrapper at the garbage can, but missing it by a long shot.

"Well, I guess your transition from angel to basketball player isn't going to happen."

"Cas rolled over gently, trying to hide some of his pain from Dean. "How early do you want me to wake you up tomorrow?"

"Early, like not quite crack of dawn early. It's a few hours away and I need to get there before anybody is really up and moving around if I'm going to have a chance."

"We."

"We?"

"Yes, Dean. We need to get there before anybody is really up and moving around."

"Oh no, baby. You are pretending like you aren't hurting, but I can tell that you are. You aren't going anywhere. I'll take a couple of guns and your angel blade and I'll take care of it."

"Dean, besides Ramiel, who is powerful, you have no idea how many humans are going to be there."

"I'll take my chances."

"And what, get killed trying to save Sam? I'm going. You know that I can just disappear and show up there. Technically there is no way to stop me."

Dean rolled on his side and gently touched Cas until he was laying on his back. "I've thought about all of this. Technically, now that we know where he is, you could go right now and possibly zap Sam out of that room. The problem is, we'd still have this fucked up angel and his freak followers to deal with. They all have to go down or they'll come after Sam again. I'm not letting anything hurt you. I already feel guilty as hell about..."

"Have you looked at yourself? That wasn't one sided."

"I know baby, I just. The last thing that I want to do is hurt you, Cas. I don't want anything to ever hurt you. I won't." Dean looked into those eyes, but what he was was something new. There was hope, a tenderness he'd never seen before, trust. He wanted to cry, he wanted to take away the pain. He moved around the bed, gently placing his lips on every mark, bruise, and scratch on Cas's beautiful body. He knew the night that Cas touched his shoulder in Bobby's living room, that as long as he was breathing, nothing would ever hurt Cas again.

\-------------------------

They cut the engine and parked down the street from the large house. As beautiful as Dean's car was, she was loud. He kept turning to watch for Cas as they silently moved through yards. "You cannot worry about me. You need to focus," Cas whispered. Dean knew he was right, but his chest still hurt when he thought about how Cas must feel. They finally got to the house and Dean saw the elaborate security system. Cas stayed in the shadows while he found the outside box and quickly disabled it. Dean moved to the back, looking for a dog door or food dish, even toys, but he didn't see anything. With the security system disarmed and chances of there not being a dog inside to alert anyone, he quickly picked the lock and motioned Cas over. The walked through the house quietly. Dean was surprised that everything looked so normal, so upper middle class. There were family pictures, throw pillows, live plants. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn't expecting something that looked like a movie set. He wanted to keep Cas close, but he knew that they had to split up. Cas had his angel blade and a gun. Dean had two guns, his and Sam's, as well as a regular blade. A metal door at the end of the hallway with multiple locks caught his eye and he moved towards it. He had three of the locks picked before he felt the baseball bat and everything started to go black. 

\-------------------------

"Dean?" it was like and echo and when he tried to open his eyes, everything was blurry. "Dean, you have got to get up and finish with the locks."

"Where is the asshole who hit me?"

"I uh, I shot him in the leg and tied him up."

"Nice one, baby." Dean got to his knees and with only one eye open worked the rest of the locks. He finally got the door open and collapsed.

\-------------------------

Sam heard the locks, but it wasn't the usual sound. This was quieter, it took longer. He heard three of them open before he heard people moving around and a heavy thud. He pressed his ear against the door and waited until he heard a gunshot and yelling. Was that Cas's voice? He thought he heard Cas's voice again, and then Dean's. The rest of the locks opened and his brother collapsed on to the plush carpet, Cas was standing behind him in the doorway. Cas bent down and pulled a gun out of Dean's waistband, handing it to Sam. "What in the hell happened to him?"

"Baseball bat."

"What in the hell happened to you?"

"Rough sex and a fight with some angels. He has a concussion, but we need to try and get him up and moving. This is nowhere near over."

"This? What in the hell are you talking about? This is about the demon blood, right?"

"Yes, and an angel is after you. We need to wait for him."

Sam bent down and wrapped an arm around Dean, pulling him to his feet. He could see the large knot beginning to form on the back of his head and saw the blood trickling down his neck. "Can't you just heal him?"

"I'm too weak right now, Sam. Remember I got my ass kicked by angels. I'm kind of malfunctioning at the moment. We're just going to have to work with it. He's tough, he'll come around soon."

Sam saw the bruises and bites on his brother's body, "What in the hell else happened to him?"

"Rough sex. Now we need to get downstairs. That's where I tied Nate to a chair and that's where I'm guessing Ramiel is going to show up."

Rough sex, Cas shot Nate, and now somebody named Ramiel was on his way. Never a dull day in the life of a Winchester.

\-------------------------

Ramiel was already in the kitchen, sitting in the chair across from Nate when Cas and the Winchesters entered the room. "Castiel, it is so nice to see you brother."

"Do not call me your brother. We've never stood on the same side."

"Maybe not, but we have the same father. Or do you still have daddy issues kind of like those two apes you seem so attached to? I heard about your little incident upstairs with some of our brothers. That's what happens when you lose the Mr. Congeniality contest but still show up asking questions about me. Now I think we both know that this could go any number of ways. You let me take Sam Winchester, I'll even take a broken Dean Winchester, two for one. I'll let you walk out of here. Or, and for some reason I'm thinking that this is the route that you'd rather take, we can fight over them. I really don't understand why you do it. All of this time spent defending them, protecting them, and for what? Your sick little crush on Dean over there? He doesn't look so good, I'm guessing that you are too weak to heal him? I could do it for you, but I don't like you very much so what is the point?"

"You do know that even if you took Sam, he would never agree to your plan."

"Oh, I don't know about that. These lovely people have taken better care of him than either his father or his brother ever did. He could have it all. A nice non-cockroach infested place to live, food, and I'd be willing to let him have a girl in his room every once in awhile. What do you have to offer? A reckless and violent brother and a broken angel. Doesn't sound like much of a choice if you ask me."

Sam could feel Dean becoming more alert, but was hiding it. He knew that they were in for a fight. "So what about these people?" Cas questioned. "What do they get out of this?"

"The pleasure of knowing that they helped an angel in his time of need."

"So it was lies? You lied to them so that they would do your bidding?"

"Of course I did," Ramiel laughed. "I can't give them riches and wealth, not to mention everlasting life. I mean technically I can, but they aren't useful to me anymore. If you ask me, they should have requested a down payment."

"How many of them did you kill?" Sam could feel that Dean was ready to stand on his own, but kept an arm around him.

"There was the cab driver. I did feel bad about that one. He didn't deserve it, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then that awful TV Evangelist. He was an obnoxious fake, but I knew that his death would bring the Winchesters running. Kind of a two birds with one stone type of thing. Just in case you were wondering, the room break in was me too. It was a lot easier to separate the Winchester brothers than I thought it would be."

Cas turned his head and looked at the human tied to a chair. He looked defeated and Cas almost felt sorry for him. He caught Dean's eye and almost imperceptibly nodded at the poor man. Dean quickly winked and pulled away from Sam, falling forward on the floor.

"One Winchester down, he should be easy to transport. Now there's the other one. You have a gun, Sam. That won't hurt me. I'm gong to assume that Castiel has his angel blade, but he looks awfully weak to me. Taking it from him should be easy." Ramiel raised his hand towards Cas, slamming him against the wall and they all heard the metallic sound as his angel blade fell to the floor. Before Sam could grab it, he slid it across the room and out of reach.

Dean watched the whole thing, aching to get to Cas, but so close to cutting through the ropes that held the poor guy to the chair. He was cursing himself for teaching Cas how to tie the complicated knots. He finally cut the last rope and Nate slid under the table in an attempt to hide.

"Well that was a childish move on Nate's part, but well played Dean. I'm having a bit of a dilemma here. I can't kill either of the Winchesters. We need you. However, I can make you stand here and watch Castiel die. I'll make it slow and painful for your benefit."

Ramiel moved towards an already broken Cas and Dean started to go after him. Sam had to grab him, "Dean, don't."

"I can't let him do this. I promised Cas."

"Dean," Cas said quietly. "Just go."

"There's not a chance in hell I'm going anywhere without you. I promised you."

"You can't stop this. Just go."

They were all shocked and covered their eyes when they felt the flashing lights. When it finally dimmed, they turned to see Nate standing over Ramiel, Cas's angel blade in his hand. "You know, I've believed in God my whole life. I read the bible, I went to church every Sunday. Then I found out about The Order. I got greedy, but justified it as something pure and right. Sam, he's supposed to be the boy king, the new Satan. But he's not, I could tell when Mavis called me the first time. Ramiel came to me and I bought what he was selling. I'm sorry Sam. And you, Dean, sorry about the baseball bat. You don't get an apology, you shot me in my fucking leg." He turned towards Cas.

"We can actually fix that," Sam said, pushing Nate into a chair and pulling up his pant leg. "It went through the muscle. Do you have alcohol or peroxide? Bandages?"

"All of the above, upstairs bathroom. My wife keeps a ton of that stuff."

Sam ran up the stairs while both Cas and Dean dropped into chairs, hurt and exhausted. "I didn't want to hurt anyone. He made us believe that Sam was the embodiment of evil. The more time he spent with us the more we started to doubt."

"Well I guess it's a damn good thing they weren't after me. You'd believe, trust me." Dean reached across the table for Cas's hand and squeezed it. 

He let go when Sam walked in and propped Nate's leg up. "This is going to hurt," he poured alcohol over the wound while Nate clenched his teeth and then wrapped it carefully.

"The wife comes back from her mother's tomorrow. She didn't want to miss the big show. What do I tell her?"

"That Ramiel was a phony. Another angel showed up to set you straight, and you somehow ended up with a really cool bullet wound that will end up being a hell of a scar someday. Now, you need to tell me honestly that you are done with all of this shit. I know where you live, I know where Bob and Alice Parker live. I don't want to have to kill any of you."

"No, I'm done. Maybe it's time to go back to the Methodist church in town and get yelled at by my wife every Sunday for falling asleep during service. So what do we do about...him?"

Cas bent down and touched Ramiel's body, turning it to ash. 

"Sorry, we're not going to stick around for the clean up. A shop vac should take care of the angel powder and the blood is just going to have get cleaned up the old fashioned way. No more bullshit. I'm fucking serious. You are lucky that I found my brother alive."

The three of them walked out the back door and down the steps. "I don't know who's more fucked up between the two of you, but point me towards the motel and I'll drive," Sam finally said.

\-------------------------

They'd showered, dressed, and eaten. They found a stupid movie to watch on TV and both brothers had fallen asleep in their own beds. Cas sat silently invisible and watched them sleep, realizing that once again he had been relegated to stay in the room and watch.

\-------------------------

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Sammy, what've you got?" Sam and Dean were on their way to get breakfast. Cas had mumbled some excuse not to go and left soon after they did.

"Um, the marks. I asked Cas what happened to you and his answer was 'rough sex'. So I asked what happened to him and he answered 'rough sex'. Is that some kind of joke? I mean angels don't..."

"Oh, they most certainly do, Sammy."

"Wait, so you and Cas..."

"The last couple of weeks have been hell for me, Sam. I didn't know which way was up, but Cas was there every day. He kept me, I don't know, grounded. It got emotional for me one night, but he was there and it just happened. It kept happening. The only time I felt safe, or like I could get through this was when I was with him."

"So are you guys like...I mean what's the deal? Do you love him?"

"I don't know the first thing about love, so I have no idea. I've been with a lot of people, guys and girls. With Cas it's different. But, this has gotten a little too chick flick for me so can't we talk about something else. Maybe your four star treatment while you were in captivity?"

"Four star and scared shitless. How did you guys figure it out?"

"I don't know. I heard the name Ramiel and Cas took off like a bat out of hell. He came back with his ass kicked and some answers. We followed the trail from there. You know, the Parker's seem like really nice people." Dean grinned.

"Believe it or not, they were. They all were. I kind of feel bad for them."

"They'll get over it, but they'll never look at church the same way that's for damn sure."

\-------------------------

Cas wasn't at the motel when they got back. They called Bobby and let him know that they'd be headed his way in the morning. After a few hours, Dean started silently calling for Cas. Cas could always sense how he felt, and even with Sam back he felt like something was missing. He called for Cas while they went through their things, Sam checking to make sure that nothing of his had been stolen. He called for Cas while they were eating pizza. Cas finally showed up right before they were getting ready for bed. "Where have you been?"

"I had some things to take care of."

Dean knew that Cas was lying, he wasn't wanted or needed upstairs and the only thing that kept him down here were the Winchesters. He could sense Sam watching them out of the corner of his eye. Dean didn't want to do the whole pulling Cas aside to talk thing. Dean didn't know if Cas had feelings, angels weren't supposed to understand emotions. He knew that he felt something, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Not when they had just gotten Sam back and he had time to breathe. "We're heading to Bobby's in the morning. If you aren't too busy, you should come with." Dean said pointedly. Cas just sat in the chair and nodded, waiting for the brothers to fall asleep.

\-------------------------

"It's good to see ya, boy," Bobby smiled, pulling Sam into one of his giant bear hugs. He held Sam at arms length and looked at him. "Over two weeks in lockdown and you look better than both of those ragamuffins standin' behind ya." He hugged Sam again.

"Thanks, Bobby," Sam said quietly. "Thanks for everything."

"Don't go thanking me. It was that stubborn brother of yours and that angel boy over there who did all of the dirty work. I'm just glad to have you home."

Bobby reached out for Dean and pulled him into a hug, "How 'bout you? You doing okay?"

"Well, other than some jackass trying to use my head to score a home run, I'm good. We got Sam out, we took care of Ramiel, and I'm pretty sure that The Order is no more."

"Good, now come here angel boy. I know that you're not one for huggin' and all of that shit, but you saved at least one, if not both of my boys here and so you get a Bobby Singer hug too, like it or not."

Cas had to admit, the appreciation and warmth felt good when the patted the older man on the back and stepped away. "Dean told me what you did, finding information about that angel. Goin' with him to help Sam even though you were hurt. Thank you." Cas just nodded at Bobby's watery eyes and followed the three most important humans in his life inside of the old house.

\-------------------------

They told Bobby the story over burgers and beer. He gave Cas a look of respect when he learned that Cas had shot a man through the leg and tied him up. Sam told them how strange the whole experience was, and Cas assured him that nothing like this would happen again. They were still at war, and although angels and demons don't play fair, none would go as far as Ramiel had. Cas watched Dean smile and laugh, the dark bruises and bite marks on his neck still apparent. He knew that his own were obvious, but nobody said anything to acknowledge them. He knew that deep down, Bobby and Sam either already knew or didn't want to know. He'd become a fixture, but only an important one in times of need. But, that was the position he had put himself in from the beginning. These feelings of sadness or loss weren't anybody's fault but his own. They were things that he wasn't supposed to have the ability to experience anyway, and he kept reminding himself of that. 

They moved their celebration into the living room where Dean gave them a play by play of how they found Sam. He told them everything, almost everything. He told them about Cas infiltrating churches, the one service that he actually sat through. He proudly told them how he'd put two and two together and come up with Ramiel's name. As proud and grateful as he was for everything that they had done, Sam knew that Cas had done most of the work. He caught his eye from across the room and nodded his head, mouthing the words "thank you". Cas forced a smile and shrugged. Just another day in the life of the Winchesters. 

Sam could see the sadness on Cas's face. Sam knew his brother, better than anyone. He knew that it was one thing to be a man whore, especially a bisexual one. Dean went to bars and left so many throw always behind him that Sam couldn't even begin to count how many there had been. Cas and Dean had slept together, and right now Cas felt thrown away. Sam knew that Dean would never intentionally hurt Cas, but when emotions ran high, Dean didn't always do the right thing. He tilted his head towards the kitchen, hoping that Cas caught on to the gesture. "So, this bottle is almost empty and I need another drink. I'm sure that you two could use a few more. You still got some bottles of rot gut in the kitchen?"

"Things didn't change that much while you were gone, of course I do."

Sam smiled at the older man and noticed that Cas had already left the room. "Okay, I'll be right back."

\-------------------------

"I'm glad you're back Sam," Cas said sincerely, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I wouldn't be if it hadn't been for you. You risked your life, you got your ass kicked just for some intel. They never would have found me. You don't know how much that means to me."

Sam knew that he had to tread lightly. Cas was skittish, especially when it came to Dean. "Um, I know how you are Cas. The whole not understanding human emotions thing, and it has to suck when you're around humans every day. I mean, you can't always read people, and I get that. To be honest, he really isn't that different. He's just as clueless and he doesn't see it, what he's doing."

Cas dropped his head, "He's celebrating your safe return, we all are. One thing I've learned in my time here is to never expect anything from him. I'm not saying that as a negative thing. When he feels things, when he's in the moment, nothing else exists for him. His fear of losing you, his guilt for leaving you behind, his self doubt for not being able to pick up your trail. Those are all things that were tearing him apart and if he could find peace, even if it was just for a moment, that's what kept him from self destructing. You're right, I don't understand, but I need to stop trying. I'm not human and none of this should mean anything to me. I feel relief that you are safe and with us, and that's all I should feel."

"But is it?"

"It's all that I am allowing myself. You are like a brother to me, Sam. We could have lost you. If we had been just a matter of minutes too late, we would have. But we didn't, and besides a well placed gunshot wound and a hell of a knot on the back of Dean's head, nobody got hurt."

"Are you sure about that?"

Cas sighed deeply, "I have to be. Now take that bottle to them or they are going to start whining."

"If you need to talk..."

"We just did, but thanks Sam."

\-------------------------

Cas watched the men talk and laugh from his chair placed away from the couch. He saw the light, the excitement in Dean's eyes. He sensed Sam watching him at times, but he just looked at the fire and stayed quiet. Smiling and nodding when he was expected to. He said a few words when he was asked a direct questions, but otherwise he just sat. He watched Sam take a chair next to Bobby's desk while they pored over stories of angels, of what they'd been up against. He watched Dean lay down on the couch, and using his jacket as a blanket, start to softly snore. He moved into the shadows, an effort that wasn't lost on Sam, and stood in the place that he had spent so many nights before. Watching Dean's chest rise and fall, thankful that he was still alive. Sam and Bobby finally grew tired, and found their way upstairs. Everything had returned to status quo. 

\-------------------------

Dean reached for Cas, but then realized that he was on Bobby's couch and somebody and thrown a blanket over him, it was probably Sam. He sat up and stretched, searching the dusty and cramped room. He wasn't in a motel, there wasn't a warm body next to him, there wasn't a warm body at all. Cas wasn't there, he could feel it. He tenderly touched the back of his head. The knot was smaller, but drinking last night certainly didn't help the morning headache. He got up and started coffee brewing, looking through Bobby's cabinets for the pain killers that he always kept on hand. He sat down with a hot cup of black sludge, Hunter's coffee that was strong enough to burn an ulcer right through somebody's stomach if they hadn't grown up drinking it like the Winchesters had. He wrapped his hands around the warm mug and started thinking about the past two weeks. Looking for Sam, finding Sam, and Cas. He was Cas's charge, Cas had told him more than once that they had a profound bond. How much of what had happened between them happened because Cas knew what he needed and gave into it. Cas was an angel, he wasn't supposed to feel emotions, and Dean didn't know what to do with that. He heard somebody coming and quickly turned his head, it was Sam. He poured his own mug of coffee and sat down across from Dean.

"So, crazy couple of days."

"Crazy couple of weeks. I thought I'd lost you. I was honestly trying to figure out how to have a hunter's funeral without a hunter a few days ago."

"But you didn't give up, Dean."

"I couldn't, Sam."

"Sounds like you stayed pretty focused. You didn't try to drink it away. You didn't do the self destructive shit."

"What are you getting at, Sam?" Dean asked, looking down at the table, rubbing his forehead.

"Nothing. I'm just, impressed I guess. You didn't go off half cocked, leave a trail of interviews gone bad or break ins looking for hex bags."

"I didn't find you, Sam. Cas did. I was given names and places and I sat on my ass and waited while he checked them out. I gave him Ramiel's name and he got his ass kicked just to come back with two names. Bob and Alice Parker in Bedford, Illinois. I didn't do shit. I disabled a security system and picked a few locks, something I could have done as a teenager. That's it. That's all I did. You don't have me to thank for anything. It was all Cas and Bobby, I was just along for the ride. They could have done it without me."

"So what, this is Dean feeling guilty?"

"No...maybe, I don't know. I feel like I could have done more."

"You did. You swallowed your pride and let Cas help you. That's not exactly on the short list of how Dean Winchester handles a hunt. I also know that he's the reason that you didn't drink or self destruct, and he has no idea what any of it means."

"What are you talking about?"

"The same thing we talked about in the car. Matching rough sex marks? You told me that it happened, and it kept happening. That it was an intense two weeks for you, and Cas was there to see you through it. You couldn't tell me how you feel, and I get it, you aren't wired that way. I just think that you should know that when I looked at him last night, I saw something that I've never seen before."

"What did you see?"

"You should have looked at him, Dean. You should have paid attention to him. Good, bad, or indifferent...you owe him that much and not because of his part in finding me. I'm going to go take a shower."

\-------------------------

Dean spent most of his day working on his car. She needed a tune up and oil change. He needed a distraction. He kept running Sam's words through his head. He went into town to pick up some things for Bobby, and was quiet during dinner. Bobby noticed the change, Bobby always noticed a change, especially in Dean. He knew better than to ask. They drank and played cards while the sun set. They didn't talk about Sam's time away or about finding him. They just talked. It was a typical day at Singer Salvage when they didn't have a hunt on the radar. Sam just looked at his brother laying on the couch, his back turned to the stairwell, before he went upstairs and went to bed. 

\-------------------------

Again, Dean woke up first and started the coffee. The knot on the back of his head was almost gone, but he reached for the pain killers anyway. Again, he sat at the table with his hands wrapped around his mug and listened to his brother move around the kitchen. Sam didn't say a word when he sat down, he had already said he piece and he knew better than to bring it up again. It wasn't until Bobby came downstairs and started making breakfast that Dean finally spoke.

"I don't know about Sam here, but I'd like to take a little break. No looking for cases on the radar. Plus, we need to find Sam a new FBI suit. So, do you have anything that you need help with around here?"

Bobby turned to Dean and rolled his eyes, "Son, I own a salvage yard. There is always something that I need help with around here. I've got a truck over there in that second garage that needs almost an entire rebuild. If you are that bored, you are more than welcome to it."

Sam was watching Dean gather tools through the kitchen window when Bobby walked up behind him. "You know, it pains me to see how much shit that boy goes through. But it pains me even more when it's new shit and he's totally lost."

"Yeah," Sam agreed without turning around. "I know. And unfortunately, there nothing you or I can do to help him."

\-------------------------

Rebuilding an engine was mindless work, and that's what Dean needed. He needed to work with his hands and feel like he was accomplishing something. He was right when he told Sam that he really didn't have anything to do with finding him, and that hurt. Sam was right when he said that Cas needed him, and that hurt even more. He'd laid on the couch last night, knowing that Cas wasn't there in the shadows. He'd silently asked him to come, but he never did. He didn't know where he'd made the mistake, sleeping with Cas in the first place or acting like it never happened after they found Sam. He was relieved that it was dark in the back of the garage when he slid to the floor and held his head in his hands. Cas had always been there for him without question, Cas would do anything for him, Cas was his best friend and those were all things that he'd never had. "Cas, please don't don't this," he whispered. "Just come talk to me, just show up...be here. I need to see you." After a long pause he stood up and went back to work on the truck.

\-------------------------

Dean didn't say much all day, he didn't say much when they sat in the living room. Sam and Bobby were going over books, looking up things on Sam's laptop, Dean was holding a drink in his hand, watching the shadows from the low flames in the fireplace dance on the opposite wall.

"Angel boy, welcome back," he heard Bobby say.

"Hey Cas," Sam smiled.

Dean set his drink down and turned his head, "Cas..." he said quietly. Cas was standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen, not looking at any of them.

"I came to see how Sam is doing."

"I'm fine, you and Dean got the worst of it," Sam said, looking at his brother. 

"I've got most of my strength back, I was able to heal myself."

Dean looked and saw that Cas's skin was clear, no marks and no bruises. The marks that he had left were gone. 

"Well pull up a seat, boy. There's not anything excitin' going on around here, but you're welcome to stay for awhile."

"I, uh...I just came by to see how Sam was. I know that you weren't physically hurt but I know that it wasn't easy for you. I'm just happy to see that you are okay."

"It wasn't easy for any of us, Cas," Sam said pointedly. He looked at his brother, Dean hadn't said a word but was fixated and Cas was doing everything that he could not to look at him.

"Well, we all came out of it okay. I just needed to make sure that you are safe. I'm going to go." Instead of disappearing, Cas walked out of the door. They all knew that meant that he was going to wander through the maze of scrap. Something about the salvage yard had always fascinated him.

"Okay Dean Winchester, I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. I know you, I know how you live, and I know that if you don't get your ass off of my couch and follow him outside to make things right, you will regret it for the rest of your life."

Dean looked and Bobby and saw Sam just nod. He stood up, grabbed his jacket, and followed Cas outside.

\-------------------------

He didn't bother calling for him, he knew that Cas wouldn't answer. He just walked, trying to remember how many times they had walked together out here, trying to remember which corners and turns they had taken. He finally found him leaning against a car with his arms crossed, his back to Dean.

"You didn't have to come out here. That wasn't my point."

"I know it wasn't. I've been calling for you for two days."

"I heard you, but I had some things I needed to take care of." 

Dean moved up behind Cas and stopped, "I know that you aren't welcome upstairs. What kind of things do you have to take care of."

"I shot a guy through the leg."

"Yeah, after he hit me with a baseball bat."

"That's why I shot him," Cas turned his head for just a second before he raised it and looked at the sky. "I felt bad, he really didn't deserve it. He just had hope, he believed in something that never really existed. I went to him. According to his wife I'm an old college friend who happened to be in the area, he shot himself accidentally while cleaning his hunting rifle, and The Order has been disbanded. So, we did everything that we set out to do, and more."

"You did. You and Bobby, I picked a few locks."

"But you had hope, and you believed that we would find him. We did."

"I lost my hope at the end, Cas and you know that. You gave it back to me."

"The night I left those marks? I can heal them for you."

Dean started to take a step forward, but Cas recoiled. "No, I don't want them gone, not until they heal the old fashioned way. You left these here. You marked me just like you did the day you pulled my soul from the pit."

"That one I can't heal, I'm sorry."

"I don't want it healed, I don't want any of it healed. Damnit Cas, why are you doing this?"

Cas finally dropped his head and turned to face Dean, "Doing what?"

"Staying away, turning a cold shoulder."

"I'm staying away because you need time with your family. A cold shoulder, I don't even know what that means."

"You're distant. You haven't come to me."

"You don't need me anymore. Not for this anyway. I'm still your friend, Dean. When you are in trouble, I will still be there."

"So that's it? I have to be in trouble just to see you?"

Cas turned away and started to walk. Dean caught up with him and grabbed his arm, turning him around. "Okay, we are both stubborn, and I'm guessing that we are both a little confused at the moment but I am not going back into that house until we get this figured out. You could disappear right now, you could have disappeared the minute you heard my voice, but you didn't. You are in the same place that I am, Cas, and if it's driving me fucking crazy, then it's driving you crazy too."

"Part of the reason that I went to Pennsylvania was because I needed to talk to somebody who understands what it's like to have hope, to believe in something that may or may not be real. To have blind faith that what you want...what you think you need...is what you are going to get. I started out wanting to comfort you, Dean. I wanted to give you peace. Even if it was just for one night I knew that you deserved it. But then I started finding that same comfort and peace in what was happening between us. I started needing you, and that's not how it was supposed to happen."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not how Dean Winchester works."

"You think that I used you, Cas?" Dean voice broke. "Do you really think that I have it in me to use you? It may have just sounded like after sex sweet talk when I said that you should always make sure that your lover is your best friend, but it's true. I know that now."

Cas turned away to keep Dean from seeing the tears and started walking slowly.

"Do you have any idea how many people I have been with?" Dean called. "I lost count. I lost count a long time ago. But do you know how many of them I have wrapped my arms around and held afterwards? How many that I have needed? One, Cas. Just one. With all of the others I could not wait to get out of there after I got mine, with you I didn't want to let go."

"Emotions were running high, Dean. I don't hold that against you." Cas said quietly, almost too quietly for Dean to hear. He stopped walking and dropped his head in a stance that Dean knew well. Even with just the shadows of the moon outlining his body, Dean felt Cas breaking.

"Cas, emotions have run high since the day we met. That's all this has ever been about. Fear, survival, hating what I see when I look in the mirror. I didn't need just a warm body to get through this, I can find that anywhere. I needed you. I have never understood why, but you believe in me and I needed to feel that. Now that I have...I don't want to lose it. I don't understand all of this emotional shit, I don't. I've never wanted to. But if somebody were to ask me right now if I have ever been in love...I would tell them yes. I spent two weeks in the arms of an amazing man who saved me from myself. A man that I don't deserve." Dean could feel the tears, but he made to effort to wipe them away. "I don't know what to do here, Cas. I just know that I need you, I can't do it without you."

Cas finally turned and saw Dean's tears. He wasn't surprised when Dean moved towards him and ran his hand up the side of his face, tracing his cheekbone with his thumb. "I need you, You are the only thing that makes it so that I can look in the mirror." He pressed their lips together gently, feeling Cas's hands on his sides, his body relaxing. "Come inside with me, let me show you," Dean whispered. Cas nodded and pressed their foreheads together, reaching down to intertwine their fingers before letting Dean lead him back to the house.

\-------------------------

The house was quiet, only a low lamp and the slow burning fire shined light on the cramped room. Bobby and Sam had both disappeared, hoping that Dean would be able to talk Cas out of leaving. Both knowing that if Dean had a shot at happiness, Cas was it. Dean reached to turn off the lamp, He wanted to see Cas's body by firelight. The ever moving shadows and subtle glow. His mouth was gentle against Cas's neck, his hands slow and deliberate as he pushed and unbuttoned until their clothes lay in a pile at their feet. He sat on the couch and pulled Cas to his lap, straddling him. "Let me do this the right way," he whispered, pressing their lips together, parting his slightly to deepen the kiss. Cas leaned back, letting Dean look at him, moaning softly when he trailed his fingers gently across his taut stomach, his breath catching when Dean ran his lips across his chest, disrupting the fine sheen of sweat. Dean pulled their bodies together, running his hands down Cas's sides, along his thighs, and squeezed his ass, teasing him with a dry finger as he pulled him in for a hungry kiss. He dripped lube on his fingers and reached down, feeling Cas rock against his hand and tilt his head back needing Dean's lips on the sensitive skin of his neck. Dean kissed and nipped, pulling the blood to the surface to leave his mark. Cas was moving, wanting more, gasping when he felt the second finger, the one that knew how to find the spot that made everything disappear except for this moment with Dean. He was writhing, kissing Dean deeply, their tongues sliding together, needing to feel the third finger, needed to feel Dean inside of him. He rose up onto his knees and spread his legs wider, slowly taking Dean's cock until it was buried deep. Dean pressed one hand against Cas's lower back, the other between his shoulder blades, holding their bodies close, trapping Cas between them. "I'm not going to hurt you this time, baby..." he whispered. Cas gripped his shoulders, aligning his hand with the scar, and dug his fingers into the flesh, starting to move up and down slowly. Dean's shoulder twitched under Cas's hand and he could already feel the build. He pulled their bodies as close as he could and kissed Cas passionately, trying to make him understand that this is how it would always be. Their movements were almost painfully slow, but they couldn't let it end, not yet. "I love you, Dean," Cas whispered, causing a visible shiver throughout Dean's body. "I love you, baby." Cas began to move faster, gripping Dean's arms harder, moaning and whimpering as the friction between their bodies became overwhelming. He lost himself in the wave of pleasure that ran over him when he came, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from crying out. Dean leaned his head back and gave himself over to the feeling of Cas's body moving against him. He could feel it in his stomach and he couldn't hold back when he reached for Cas's hips and thrust, their bodies coming together while he let out a deep groan and came hard, wrapping his arms around Cas, burying his face in his neck. "I know that you're crying baby," he whispered, tears collecting in the corners of his own eyes. "This is the most real, most honest night that we have spent together and I will do everything that I can to make sure that every night is like this for you." Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and let his body relax against him, still trembling. Dean pulled a blanket around them and held him while he silently cried. "I don't always say or do things the right way, but never doubt for one minute that I love you, Cas." Dean felt it more than heard it when Cas said, "I love you too, Dean." His mouth curled into a slow smile as he pulled Cas closer.


End file.
